Not my shittiest day ever by a mile, but it wasn’t a good day. Or, how I broke my foot.

I was chasing our lawn man. The sprinklers were on so he just drove through our driveway and didn’t stop. I had a lot for him to do (stuff he hasn’t been doing each time, but was on the LIST for our contract, so I really wanted to talk to him). I heard his truck, jumped out of bed, put on my jeans and headed out our bedroom door, ran full blast around the house…

now the day previously we had planted some new trees. i had made a mental note to “get some kind of fabric strips to flag the support lines, tomorrow”
back to lawn guy day….

I ran around the corner of the house and with a full stride slammed my foot, toes spread, right around one of the new tree guy wires. I was catapulted right onto my face in the most fancy face plant you could have ever witnessed.

It’s not over yet.. need a keystone cops style drum roll and penny whistle tune here.

To add insult to injury, I landed on a pile of dog doo, rolled over to grab pain explosion aka foot, and rolled right into another pile of dog poop. The truck driver never saw me and kept going.

I was outside for quite a while both crying from pain and laughing out loud about the whole damn mess when my husband came out looking for me. He was going to save the lawn guy from my wrath, but he puts his pants on slower than I do. He saw me lying there alone and laughing and went back in the house, thinking I was having a ‘moment’ and that I’d explain, or that maybe the dogs were being funny or something.

I discovered it is very hard to get off the ground with just one good foot and the other foot pulsing and throbbing and generally unable to be used. So I crawled over to the infamous tree and used it to pull myself up (it’s a little crooked now, I’m gonna leave it that way as a visible reminder that some little things, like flags on a tree really do matter).

My foot went numb for about four hours, I took a shower and I thought.. I’d get over it.. toes probably broken and it would heal. Later things started to really hurt again and it all turned puple. So went to the emergency room.

An hour later, after probing and Xrays… shattered bones.. bone shards in toe joints… next day orthopedist to see if I’d need surgery. He says too swollen to tell. “Take these pain killers and they’ll get the swelling down and stop chasing people and scoop your poop, come see me in three weeks.” He also taped my toes together so they would stay lined up and not get permanently wonky.

Author: FreeFormQuilts

South Texas chick who drinks margaritas, swears, quilts, leaves her christmas lights up till March (inside the house), and has an opinion on everything. Has a not-so-secret occupation and she also married into one of the coolest ranching families ever.

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